kyle’s fried turkey

Let’s face it, no one gets SUPER excited about that dried up old bird that’s the centerpiece of every family Thanksgiving. And no, I’m not referring to sometimes lucid, more often not, Great Aunt Mildred. 



Yet, for some reason, the holiday wouldn’t be complete without this large, tired tidbit of the traditional spread. So why not make it delicious?

How? You ask. Well, if you’ve read our posts up to this point you know we are dying to fry stuff. Like really we can’t get enough. The giddiness I exuded whilst skipping through Sam’s Club with a 5-gallon jug of peanut oil in tow should be indication to all.


Not only are we going to fry this bird, we are going to shove all kinds of citrus and herbs up it’s rear, brine it, and literally inject it until it resembles the lips on Angelina Jolie’s face.



Speaking of faces, I CANNOT stress enough the importance of following all the manufacturer’s instructions on frying your turkey. Take a page out of my book and watch a certain YouTube video that details the safety precautions and is narrated by a woman who, at the end of the video, reveals has had her face burnt off by exploding grease. I watch it EVERY year, and even though I know how it ends, I jump every time. It’s a powerful cautionary tale.

My mother always said, ‘If you can’t lead by example, then be a horrible warning.’









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