While we all love to pretend to be as classy as Ina Garten, flitting around our kitchen making complex meals with pretentious ingredients, it’s also sometimes nice to toss out any f**ks you previously gave, pull out the bottom-shelf olive oil, and embrace our inner Sandra Lee.
port + cranberry pork chops
It’s that time of year: heart-shaped balloons, roses by the dozen, #relationshipgoals Instagram posts, and other Valentine’s Day traditions obligations.
If you are on Atkins (who even does that anymore?), keto (eye-roll), or Mike Pence, you should probably just close this window IMMEDIATELY.
maple bourbon carrots
I’ve have never been huge fans of cooked carrots. But, like all of life’s problems, food or otherwise, I always find sugar and/or hard liquor are an excellent solution. This recipe takes a page from both.
healthy big mac salad
Temptation is everywhere. There are strategically placed McDonald’s whose golden arches taunt us on the way to and from the gym. Nothing validates double-fisting two Big Mac value meals like a half-assed workout.
garlic infused mashed cauliflower
We know what you’re thinking, “these queers sure love their cauliflower.” I guess it’s another gay stereotype we are guilty of. We love Bravo-housewife wine-fights, Dolly Parton, overpriced swimsuits, and cauliflower.
chipotle turkey meatloaf
We love our classic turkey meatloaf recipe. It was actually one of our original posts three years ago, and since then, we have made it about 23,135 times. So, we finally decided to spice up an old favorite, literally.
cauliflower fried rice
All over Facebook people are posting their “New Year, New Me” bullshit, and we are over here on OpenTable trying to find reservations at an all you can eat Chinese buffet… “New Year, New Notches On Our Belt Loops.“
Like the Titanic, communism, or John’s latest hormone therapy, this recipe started with the best of intentions and went horribly wrong.