While we all love to pretend to be as classy as Ina Garten, flitting around our kitchen making complex meals with pretentious ingredients, it’s also sometimes nice to toss out any f**ks you previously gave, pull out the bottom-shelf olive oil, and embrace our inner Sandra Lee.
Author: John
smashed potatoes
If you are on Atkins (who even does that anymore?), keto (eye-roll), or Mike Pence, you should probably just close this window IMMEDIATELY.
healthy big mac salad
Temptation is everywhere. There are strategically placed McDonald’s whose golden arches taunt us on the way to and from the gym. Nothing validates double-fisting two Big Mac value meals like a half-assed workout.
cauliflower fried rice
All over Facebook people are posting their “New Year, New Me” bullshit, and we are over here on OpenTable trying to find reservations at an all you can eat Chinese buffet… “New Year, New Notches On Our Belt Loops.“
sesame chicken
Like the Titanic, communism, or John’s latest hormone therapy, this recipe started with the best of intentions and went horribly wrong.
pickled tequila shots
After the delicious success of our last post, we began to think about what else could benefit from being doused in pickle juice…
“pickled” oven-fried chicken
If we had a dollar for every time we’ve thrown a shade-filled eyeroll at an ‘oven-fried’ recipe
skillet poblano queso
So, this Sunday is the big game! Unfortunately, outside of tear-jerking commercials and the occasional Janet Jackson nip, this means usually less than nothing to us. I mean, what is a Seahawk?
nutty + fruity energy bars
We have taken (another) small sabbatical from posting, but now we are back (again) with a few new recipes.