“Jack the Giant Slayer” stars Nicholas Hoult as the farm boy who buys magic beans, like the classic Jack & the Beanstalk fairy tale. This time, instead of one giant we have an army of them, and they are HUNGRY for human flesh. Yes, these giants like to eat people like they’re crawfish. I haven’t seen this many men get eaten since… I’m just going to kill that joke now because it’s way too easy.
Nicholas Hoult is uh-dorable as Jack. He’s so cute, but then you’ll remember him in “About a Boy” and feel guilty about your unclean thoughts. Ewan McGregor is crazy charming as a palace guard, but I was completely distracted by his fabulous HAIR! It’s so HIGH!
Despite its predictability and some truly uninspired dialogue, “Jack the Giant Slayer” is a heart-felt thrill ride so I’m giving it a B+. And YOU try to refrain from the “man-eater” jokes while watching it. It simply can’t be done!
In the film, along with humans, the giants enjoy dining on pork. They crudely serve up the little porkers by wrapping them live in pasty dough and eating them whole.
We thought we would refine the idea slightly by using chicken sausage and puff pastry. These are our fancy-ass pigs in a blanket. Although, technically, these are ‘chicks’ in a blanket, you get the idea and we clearly want very little to do with chicks in blankets…
Quick tip: use a bread knife to carefully slice these into discs to serve as appetizers.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Remove pastry sheets from package and allow to thaw on counter for 30-40 minutes. Once thawed, carefully unfold pastry dough and, with a pizza cutter, slice into six equal sections (three lengthwise and once horizontally). Starting at one end of each section of dough, layer 2-3 spinach leaves, then wieners ending with about a 1/2 tablespoon of feta. Roll away from you leaving seam side down and place on baking sheet. In a small bowl, beat egg with water and brush over the tops of rolls. Bake for 20-25 minutes, rotating halfway through or until golden brown.
makes 12